June 18, 2011 was a magical day! One of the happiest days I’d ever had! I was celebrating my 27th birthday with my family and boyfriend. We were at the most magical place on earth, Disney World. That evening before dinner, my boyfriend proposed to me! I was ecstatic and couldn’t wait to meet my family at dinner to tell them the news. I felt like I was living a dream! I got a proposal at Disney World on my birthday! Who’s fairytale life had I stepped into?
Flash forward seven years later and I spent most of my birthday in tears because just one day prior my husband had told me he was done with our marriage. He wanted out. He was tired of trying. I was 7 months into my second high risk pregnancy. I was completely heartbroken. My world was shattered. I was willing to do anything to save our marriage. I didn’t want my girls to become another statistic of a broken home.
So many emotions flooded my life. I was sad that my marriage was over. I was promised forever, and I realized I wouldn’t be getting that! I was supposed to grow old with this man. I was mad that my security was being ripped away from myself and my girls. I was so worried about how this would affect my girls. I was worried that the stress of a separation would make this high risk pregnancy an even higher risk. I was embarrassed to have our small town hear about my situation, because I knew word would spread eventually. I was hurt that he chose such a terrible time to do this! I was mad that the last portion of my pregnancy would now be spent sad and stressed instead of happily awaiting the arrival of our second daughter.
After the initial shock wore off, I began to reflect on my life. How had things changed so much over the past 7 years? How had I changed so much? I realized that I had become very unhappy in my marriage. I realized I was only staying in the marriage for my children. I had become a shell of a person. My once happy, silly self had disappeared. I was co-existing with a roommate, not living passionately with a husband whom I adored. I felt annoyed and stressed most of the time. I did not like who I had become.
It was at this point I realized this divorce is going to be for the best. It will be better for our daughters to have parents that are happy and living apart instead of unhappy parents living together. I had to show my girls a strong independent woman through this journey. I had to get back to being me! I would find my happiness again! I had to!
And through all of that, Mom Hair, I Don’t Care was born! Writing has always been a passion of mine. It is an outlet for me to deal with my feelings. It allows me to express things to others when I struggle with vocalizing it. During all of the late nights that I couldn’t sleep, or when I felt overwhelmed I would write! I began to realize I was starting to feel happy again! I was finding myself! The “Miranda” I once knew was resurfacing. This gave me hope! It gave me energy!
This blog is an exciting new venture for me! I can’t wait to see where it leads. My hope is that I can share my experiences with others and help them during a difficult time. I hope to give my readers a few laughs. I hope to connect to those who have walked a mile in my shoes. I hope to use this platform as a form of “therapy” to help me heal.